What was your first relationship like?

[MrDawn]

What was your first ever relationship like?

Did you ask them out or did they ask you out? How long were you together for? How did the break up happen?

 

[Juneberry]

My first "relationship" is a questionable topic, in that what one person counts as an actual relationship can vary. If we go by my own standards... The first time I was in one was when I was 12. He was my close friend online, and we liked each other... He asked me out one day after my IRL friend, who had talked to him before to make sure he was safe for me, had told him I'd been home sick and unwell for a few days. She texted me to let me know "he's going to ask you out" and, well, when I got online- he did just that. Technically speaking, we dated for two years... Though it was all online and very simple, since we were just kids. We're still good friends. He broke up with me at 14- it was a complicated situation, where I didn't find out until after we broke up that it was partially because he'd been lying about certain things and had emotionally cheated on me with a mutual friend (right in my face, using an alt account). I haven't talked to that friend in ages, though I still think fondly of her. I talk to him once in a while through text messages. He's grown up to be a workaholic and I'm constantly worrying about his health. xD

If we don't include solely online things... My first (and only) relationship was one that started online but moved to real life as a long-distance thing about 7-8 years ago. We met on a roleplay forum and flirted pretty easily with each other. We got close and started dating (though he was treated like a pariah on the site half the time and those close to me worried a lot for silly reasons). After about half a year to a year, we met offline for the first time- I flew out to visit him (with his help) and stayed with him and his folks (he still lived with his mom and a couple siblings). Everyone as very kind to me and I loved him dearly. We dated a couple years, until about 2-3 years together he broke up with me saying I "deserved better". The story goes on longer but I don't feel like going into it. Just know I still love him now, honestly. He'll always be dear to me.

 

[Nebulous]

Had a kid with them and had them in my life for the rest of time after that (including now). It was rocky we fought a lot and she was too wild for me. We are better as friends than partners.

 

[Dee]

What was your first ever relationship like?

Did you ask them out or did they ask you out? How long were you together for? How did the break up happen?

I was 16 and he was 20. Technically we didn't start 'dating' until about a year later. He was sweet, funny, and kind. We have a lot in common. Around the time I was about 19 or 20, I started to realize there was something wrong with me and I was just getting irritated with things, him not listening to things I had asked him to stop doing, generally feeling like I didn't want to be in a relationship. I ended it and he was not happy. We didn't talk for at least a year, but it's been ages since then and we're still friends. I talk to him on almost a daily basis. We've hung out, been on vacations together, helped him out when he needed a place to crash (not his fault, there was an accident and he was displaced).

I always thought there was just something wrong with me and I was fucked in the head. Turns out, I'm not a very romantic person and asexual (though not totally aro). He wanted a physical relationship along with everything else and I did not, but I couldn't articulate that to him and I wasn't sure why. I felt like I needed to be alone and figure things out. I was comparing myself to my brothers who always seemed to need to be in relationships. constantly comparing myself to people only to figure out what it really was in the end.

My ex still doesn't really understand that (I don't think he does, anyway, since our relationship at the time was different and we did do stuff physically), but he doesn't seem to care. It hasn't affected our friendship. We still talk and laugh and I'm grateful he's still in my life. He's truly a good person and I hope I can continue to be his friend for a long time to come.

 

[Nebulous]

My ex still doesn't really understand that (I don't think he does, anyway, since our relationship at the time was different and we did do stuff physically), but he doesn't seem to care. It hasn't affected our friendship. We still talk and laugh and I'm grateful he's still in my life. He's truly a good person and I hope I can continue to be his friend for a long time to come.

Thats good that you can remain friends. That is a very grown up thing to do. Immature people cannot wrap their heads around something like that.

 

[Dee]

Thats good that you can remain friends. That is a very grown up thing to do. Immature people cannot wrap their heads around something like that.

I think we should've been friends from the get-go, but I don't regret dating him. I am tremendously grateful for the fact that he's been a part of my life for such a long time.

 

[Saphira]

I've been with my first partner for about half a year. One day, he told me that during the week he had cheated on me with a classmate. I asked him whether he wanted to choose me or her. He chose her. It took me a long time to get over the breakup, and years after, he emailed me out of the blue saying nice things. I think he wanted to get back together at that point, but I was in a relationship with the father of my kids at that time, and I realized only a long time after replying that he probably had been looking to get back together (which I anyway wasn't interested in then).
The half year we had together was nice, although I think we lacked "substance" and it would in the long run not have been a good relationship, regardless of him cheating.
Except that one email now about 20 years ago, I haven't spoken to/heard of him since many, many years.

 

[cybercupid]

my first relationship created a giant insecurity because he couldn’t get over his ex and told me i could never compare, months after he was the one who asked me to be his gf in the first place so.. it was inevitable for that to happen because many people are that way whether or not it was him. “hurt people hurt people” i guess.

now i don’t trust anything that anyone says, only actions, but i think that’s how it should be. i guess I’m grateful to have learned that lesson young. years later he contacted me saying he missed me but didn’t give me a single apology haha.